The Pageant Beauty Contest and Me

Hi, everyone!
Here I come back with a new story of my experience.
I am a 19-years-old medical student with my routines with books, now I wanna tell my new experience in joining pageant contest. Well, this is not the very 1st time for me to join a competition like this. But, after talking with some participants in the contest, I'm gonna admit that I am really a beginner.
Yeah, I was the favorite school ambassador but helloooo... it's too small region.
I joined a bigger competition. It was held for participant from JaBoDeTaBek (Jakarta-Bogor-Depok-Tangerang-Bekasi). It's Putera Puteri Kartini 2014.
Well,
For the first time, I expect too much that I was sure of my ability. But when I got there and met so many people with different backgrounds, I felt so small and I was not sure to continue the next audition. There's so many pretty, intelligent, gorgeous women in the audition. Oh my God! I even thought to just go home and leave the audition.
But, my mom kept supporting me and told me to be confident. So, I considered not to be a loser before I begin to try. So, I face all part of audition in two days. I obeyed all the rules. And tried my best. Really. My motivation to join this contest is just to have an experience. I was sure that joining this contest will bring me a better change. I didn't expect to win, but I just don't wanna be looked like a dumb. So, I was trying a bit harder. I read some news and articles that will give me so many important information about social, politics, and economics. I tried to do make up on myself, wore fake eyelashes. Huh!
Then the commitee announced the result for big 15 finalist. My heart beated a bit fast. And,
YEAH! I was chosen as a finalist!
On that moment, I felt so confused. I really wanted to move to the next step as being a finalist but I was not sure that my college will permit.
On the next day, I tried my best to give the permission letter to my faculty dean and head of medical education program, but they didn't give permit for a competition which is not related to medicine. SO, I RESIGNED AND I WAS SO SAD.
:(
So sad. But I just knew that it was not my competence, realizing that I was born as a doctor and I have to focuss on it. But I don't regret because by doing this competition I know that I have to open my mind to the world outside the college. And I learn how to be confident and how to respect myself.
By joining the contest, I know that I have so many talents to develop. But somehow, I am now in the situation which force myself to focuss on my college. :( sad, but suddenly I realize that God create me with so many talents on myself. It makes me feel a bit better. Now I can respect myself. I don't blame myself on failure anymore because I have faith to wake up and move and grow and shine with all potential inside me.
Thank God for every lesson in my life.